How to overcome self-doubt around showing your personality in your business, by Sophie Carefull
Spend any more than five minutes on social media as a small business owner and you’ll almost definitely come across the advice “Be more visible.”
It’s a close cousin of the old classic “People buy from people.”
As a big-hearted freelancer or founder, you may already be on board with the idea that these are useful strategies to build your business and reach the right types of clients and customers.
However, it’s also very common among self-employed folks to feel a lot of resistance to showing up authentically as the face of their brand.
So, if the thought of being your true self in your website copy, or talking to camera on Instagram stories fills you with dread, you’re not alone!
Showing your personality in your business
What do we actually mean when we talk about being visible and building a personal brand as a business owner?
It might include things like:
Being yourself on your website (on your About page and beyond)
Writing like you speak (instead of trying to sound ‘professional’)
Showing your face on social media via photos and videos
Going to in–person networking events and meeting people IRL
Sharing your values in your content (such as blog posts, emails, and social media captions)
Identifying how self-doubt shows up
What did you notice as you read that list? Did you feel a sense of calm, excitement, worry, tension? Maybe some nervous butterflies in your stomach?
Without judging them, be curious about the thoughts and feelings that come up when you imagine doing the things on this list. This will be a good indicator of where self-doubt may be showing up for you.
Self-doubt is basically a collection of thought patterns and behaviours that impact what we do (or don’t do) in our lives and businesses.
To figure out what this looks like for you personally, have a look at the scenarios below. Do any of these sound familiar?
Putting off writing your website About page for months because you can’t find the right words
Enrolling in course after course about marketing, but struggling to implement what you learn
Feeling overwhelmed with where to start with adding your personality into your brand, so not starting at all
Overthinking what to post on social media and watering down your opinions for fear of offending someone
Being overly critical of pictures of yourself that you’ve taken (or had taken of you) for the purpose of promoting your business online, so not sharing them very often or at all
Nothing has gone wrong if you recognise some or all of these! Let’s look at a definition of self-doubt to understand more about what’s really going on when we engage in these habits.
What is self-doubt?
Self-doubt is an in-built safety mechanism that’s designed to protect us from perceived psychological risk.
These risks include things like criticism, rejection, and disappointment, to name a few. A real barrel of laughs, right?
So, if part of you fears that you might experience one of these less-than-pleasant outcomes by taking a certain step in your business (like stepping out from behind your logo, or sharing your political views online), your self-doubt will do whatever it can to stop you, thus avoiding that potential outcome.
That’s why you might find yourself cleaning your whole house instead of sending off that pitch email you’ve been getting around to for weeks, or why you might lose three hours to scrolling on TikTok when you’d set aside that time to get your new website finished and launched.
Take your self-doubt with a pinch of salt
One really important thing to remember here, is that your self-doubt (or inner protector) is not a good judge of how likely something is to happen.
So, when it feels like “If I post this IG reel of me introducing myself as a wedding photographer, I’ll definitely get loads of horrible comments, then my couples will cancel their bookings with me, my business will fail, and I’ll have to move back in with my parents!”
Remember that it’s literally your inner protector’s whole job to make you believe this negative spiral, so that you stay hidden and firmly within your safe and cosy comfort zone.
Catastrophising like this is just one way self-doubt will try to maintain the status quo in your life and business. That’s why it can feel so hard to try new things, particularly when they relate to visibility, marketing, and selling.
Self-doubt tends to raise its head whenever vulnerability is present, and lots of what we have to do as small business owners and founders can feel quite vulnerable.
You’re absolutely not alone in shying away from being visible, and it’s not a reason to beat yourself up.
Overcoming self-doubt and fear of being visible
Moving from self-doubt to self-belief as a small business owner is not a ‘quick fix’ kinda situation. It takes time to retrain your brain to feel safe taking manageable risks in the name of promoting yourself and your work.
One good practice to get into if you’re wanting to develop your self-trust is to pay attention to the stories you’re telling yourself throughout the day, particularly as you go about your marketing activities.
Then, when you’re more aware of which beliefs are running the show, you can decide whether or not they’re serving you. If not, you get to choose new beliefs to test out!
(There’s more to overcoming self-doubt than just this, of course, but it’s a handy starting point that fits in a short blog post!)
Mindset shifts for showing up authentically in your business
If you notice thoughts like:
“Nobody’s interested in my ideas or opinions, they’re just here for my products or services.”
Why not see how this sits with you:
“I love getting to know the person behind the brand, so I’m open to the idea that people will enjoy getting to know me too.”
If you have a belief that:
“If I show up as my true self, I’ll lose out on potential clients.”
Experiment with this new belief:
“By showing up as the real me, I’ll attract the kinds of clients that feel like friends. I don’t have to appeal to everyone.”
As a final example, if you notice a thought along the lines of:
“If I can’t do this perfectly, there’s no point in trying at all.”
Then have a go at getting on board with:
“It’s not my job to be perfect; it’s my job to stay true to myself and see what happens.”
Be patient with yourself as you try on these new beliefs for size. It’s totally natural for them to feel a bit weird at first, so go gently and bring plenty of self-compassion to this process.
Focus on the benefits of showing up as the real you
As you practise incorporating these new beliefs, make sure you also keep in mind all the wonderful ripple effects that can come from being authentically yourself in your business.
Not only will you attract more dreamy clients and customers into your world, but working exclusively with people who you love to be around, doing the things you’re best at (and have become known for), will in turn boost your confidence and help you keep that virtuous circle going.
You absolutely deserve a business that you feel completely at home in, where your clients value your work, respect your boundaries and recommend you to all their mates!
So, give people the opportunity to get to know the magical human that you are, and reap the rewards.
You’re doing a brilliant job. Keep going.
Sophie is a Certified Self-belief Coach for bold introverts and big-hearted creatives.
Following a successful self-employed career as a personal branding photographer, Sophie trained as a professional coach with a specialism in working with self-doubt.
She helps her quietly ambitious clients to develop solid self-trust and build calm, fulfilling businesses on their own terms. Sophie's coaching approach is rooted in the idea that self-acceptance and self-compassion are the keys to unlocking authentic confidence and making meaningful progress on what matters most to you.
Check out her work on her website and instagram.
You can also check out the blog I wrote about elevator pitches without the ick on her website here!
